| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2008|09:26 am] |
it seems that I've known you, though
the time and place are forgotten,
maybe you rode past me in the rain,
with the windows down and
your face to the sky, jalopy
seeking heat lightning, high on
the music of the universe
thrumming in the dash...
stop me with a stare,
hair sun-spun, someone
struck a match and i matched--
i am fire in your hand...
where is that island?
to lie on the beach and
scare the birds from the trees, and
what shall we name it?
or let it remain a
faceless stretch of sand,
I am pressed against the wall
that stands between us,
listening for your fist
from the other side like
the echo of a heartbeat, I am
ill and overwhelmed, and
barely sleep, but rarely care,
because where we are
we are bare-boned and stoned with want...
little gypsy,
dancing hippie,
the time isn't passed,
it's now, how a
new generation learns to
love or love war and
end the world...
girl, there is no truth,
you said it, i get it,
but don't ever let
those imprisoned souls
change your laugh or
still your dance--
because that is true
to me |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2008|08:11 pm] |
can we
hold hands and wander
to the edge of the river?
can we
each hold back and let our
eyes devour the other?
can we
create our own world
in which to exist?
can we
kiss until I taste blood?
can we
share secrets and
openly nurse wounds?
can we
listen to the street sweepers
from bed?
can we
bury our toes in the sand
and drop what's in our pockets
down the nearest cold stone well?
can we
recognize the
crudest ironies?
can we
laugh until our
sides bloom with wild Hysterias?
can we
drive until we're
drunk and lost and out of gas?
can we
mock together the
scared old men in power?
can we
make eye contact
across a crowded room?
can we
cavort with our shadows?
can we
play in the rain like
Mad Hatter children on
the Earth's birthday?
can we
raid the caravan
plodding toward Death?
can we
drink melancholy & tonic
and spit fire?
can we
string endless love
on a long garland
bound around and through ourselves?
if your eyes shine like mine,
sweet feline,
let us make it so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
life like a bachelor,
alone before the
other boys move in,
"home" has become a
dynamic concept, the
rooms breathe in and out,
take on different shapes,
my belongings are rearranged,
the light switches
migrate on the walls and
I must relearn them,
everything cooks
differently on the stove,
there grows a balcony on which
to blow smoke at the
shifted vision of a
city of struggles, like all the cities,
malcontent denizens
and those who know no better,
great multifarious scene,
all the colors of reality
and people and their thoughts,
harbored like a ship docked in
port for the storm, or
as brazen sea-foam faces
clutching railings and
shouting at God,
there is no TV to
blunt these feelings,
and for that I am thankful...
when I am raw, a live wire
without a ground, I let
the sights and the sounds
pour into me like
hot metal in a foundry,
and I am alive and wide-eyed and weary,
and sometimes in my sleep
an old man comes to me, and
his eyes are the color of mine,
and he's about my height, and
he hands me two blue orchids,
says,
"the world's imperfect,
but isn't it gorgeous?
you won't always be young and sad." |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|05:36 pm] |
Human beings are not rational creatures; we're capable of rational thought, on occasion, but never rational action.
Our absurdity pervades every aspect of our culture. And it's not just that silliness abounds. It's that this silliness masquerades as Truth, which Americans, gluttons not only physically but emotionally as well - essentially, we're just children with cake on our faces who will throw a temper tantrum if we're not allowed to eat until we burst - will eagerly devour. This, in turn, makes everything even sillier. It's a self-perpetuating, endless cycle of Untruth, which is what I call a lie unquestioningly accepted, viciously defended, and, if ever exposed for what it is, disregarded with gross indifference.
I don't know the last time I failed to be absolutely disgusted by this country. We are being shuffled into the slaughterhouses, and the only question we're asking is, "Hey, what's that smell?"
Not only are we uneducated, be don't CARE to educate ourselves.
Politicians used to have to be clever. Twist words. Dodge questions. Skirt issues. No longer. They can now lie outright, without consequence, because the mainstream media doesn't hold them accountable for the things they say and we're lazy enough to take their word for it.
When important issues of public interest DO arise, the media does their best to ignore them. Perhaps they feel that covering any number of scandals currently developing in our government would be boring or tedious. Maybe they know that we don't give a shit.
DID YOU KNOW:
Our government is supposed to work FOR us?
It's true. And that's not an Untruth that I'm choosing to disseminate for my own purposes. Demo - Greek for "people" as in demographics, etc. cracy - Greek suffix meaning "to rule."
Rule of the people.
In fact, this might surprise a lot of you, but you know that whole "voting" thing? That's actually a system whereby we elect someone to speak ON OUR BEHALF. Really. Although I do admit it must be hard to hear the demands of the common people when you've got a lobbyist on either side of you with a hand cupped to your ear, and another in front of you cradling your cock and balls. They have these morally reprehensible ideas for ways you can benefit their companies at the people's expense - but they're gonna give you a LOT of money! Alas, it becomes very difficult to comprehend issues of poverty with the pockets of your suit lined with cash, and a sweaty palm wrapped around your "Go" switch.
Wealth and power, which are inextricable really, are as self-serving as human beings, which is appropriate because we've engineered the concepts of both.
War is an extrapolation of power and an opportunity for wealth. Consequently, when someone in power decides to wage war, and his power is supposedly subject to the will of the people, he must be very careful. It'd be easy to misstep, accidentally lend his motives transparency and incriminate himself.
It's getting easier though. Much easier. Before, when facing the possibility of war, it was necessary to give the people at least a FEW supporting facts in order to catalyze the necessary patriotic fervor and create the Us vs. the-baby-eating Them. It it always a question of good and evil, of loyalty or treason. You either love Freedom or you're a (50's and 60's: Communist/post 9/11: Terrorist). There's no in between.
Today, supporting facts are not required. Instead, Untruth is employed.
One month after 9/11: anthrax scare. Weapons-grade anthrax traced to a Maryland lab. It was suggested (as is so coyly done) by politicians that it came from Iraq.
No it didn't. Does that matter? Not in the slightest.
Iraq had ties to al-Quaeda.
No it didn't. Does it matter? Absolutely not.
Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.
None were found. Matter? Not a bit.
When these damned truths escape, no matter how tightly the lid is sealed, it's necessary to get more creative. Of these ingenious ideas is retroactive motive.
The final, edited story tells of our invasion - no, scratch that- LIBERATION of Iraq to remove a terrible dictator, installing in his place our wonderful gift of democracy.
In exchange for the friendly petroleum discount, of course. But it's worth it. After all, look at how well democracy works in this country! God Bless America.
Over 5 years later, and the most creative Untruth propagated recently is that the "surge" is working. We're winning! Never mind that the sectarian violence and ethnic cleansing that's been homogenizing Baghdad neighborhoods is a crucial factor in the decline of U.S. troop casualties.
And pay no attention, please, to the rising troop casualties in Afghanistan, or that Afghanistan became the #1 opium-producing nation following our elimination of the Taliban, or that upwards of a million innocent people from both Afghanistan and Iraq have lost their lives.
That's a downer, and frankly, no one wants to hear about it. Let George W. Bush stand on an aircraft carrier. Let us put one hand over our hearts while the national anthem is playing, and the other over our eyes. Let racism win. Let ignorance prevail. It's much easier.
"We'll put a boot in your ass/It's the American way..."
Let us take pride in murdering people for profit under the guise of protection and the silence of stupidity. Let us wield our military against anyone with a difference of opinion. We're the ultimate bully on the world playground. We pick up the little dark kid and shake him by his ankles until his lunch money is loosed from his pockets and jingles and jangles and rolls on the sidewalk as a harmony to his protest.
We're never going to win the "War on Terror" for one very simple reason: You can't bomb an ideology. If we could, it'd be "Sayonara, Terror," courtesy of ten thousand brilliant detonations. But here's another idea for you to mull over: We don't want to win. We need an excuse which our people can support or tolerate or ignore in order to justify the attack of sovereign nations. Because there is no excuse, we present the Untruth. It's very effective.
Of values are being denigrated in the most grievous ways, so many that it's difficult to keep track. Our government has granted itself un-Constitutional powers in order to protect those freedoms afforded us by the Constitution. It's a catch-22 of repulsive proportion, and it sometimes keeps me up at night.
But hell. You needn't concern yourself.
Isn't there something on TV? |
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| from "Utopia" |
[Jul. 20th, 2008|01:59 pm] |
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Though, to tell you the truth, dear More, I don't see how you can ever get any real justice or prosperity, so long as there's private property, and everything's judged in terms of money - unless you consider it just for the worst sort of people to have the best living conditions, or unless you're prepared to call a country prosperous, in which all the wealth is owned by a tiny minority - who aren't entirely happy even so, while everyone else is simply miserable. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2008|10:08 pm] |
-I haven't eaten chicken, beef, or swine in almost 11 months (I started relatively recently to eat fish, for the protein content, and I love venison).
-I'm broke as a joke and in need of a second job.
-I spend the majority of my day alone. It gets weird looking out on society from your own mind. The only people I have face-to-face conversations with on a daily basis are my roommate and Quality Dairy employees.
-It's recently occurred to me that I could have mono. It seems to be the only explanation for my near-constant exhaustion, and when I was diagnosed with strep a couple months ago, the doctor made a suggestion that I also get a blood test for mono. Apparently it's not unusual to get one when you get the other. But fuck blood tests.
-I ordered Stephen King's Dark Tower series in its entirety for very cheap online. I'm not sure why I haven't read it yet.
-I have a 7-page written exam due tomorrow night, which I'm halfway through, and another exam in the afternoon which I haven't begun to study for yet. Why am I on Livejournal?
-My brother and I went and got the Old English letter J tattooed on our backs while I was up for the 4th of July weekend. His first, my third. Overall I'm starting to feel better about my relationship with my family, and I like that.
Poem:( seer obscura ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2008|02:00 pm] |
Perhaps if I write down my goals for the summer, they will seem more concrete, and I'll be better able to muster the motivation to accomplish them.
-Read every day
-No more TV
-Get outside/out of the apartment as much as possible
-Be productive with your time at work
-Go camping, refresh yourself on know-how
-Play guitar/piano(?)(learn covers)
-Write at least 20 songs by the end of the summer
-Smoke less weed
-Write some poetry (experiment, hone your thoughts)
-Write some articles/reviews (try to freelance [extra $])
-Spend as little money as possible
-Go to every class and study more (take interest in content)
-Work out (find a place)
-Eat healthier
-Quit or at least cut down on smoking cigarettes
-Go to the woodlot just because
-Go to the beach
-Meet people
-Slow down and enjoy it |
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| wolves |
[Mar. 24th, 2008|11:24 am] |
we are the people who don’t bother
to try and live forever.
I’ve prophesied that the
colts of the Four Horsemen
have no teeth, and are dappled
with disease.
the end of the world is coming
and we don’t care. as long as
the liquor stores stay lit
as the sky burns. with what wit
the deejays speak before their
throats are slit, as the records turn.
as long as there’s cancer to be had
by living in this fashion, we are
glad to be indifferent to
terminal illnesses. there is no respect,
nothing is sacred and we’re not scared
of a thing, though we have to raise our
voices to speak above the screams
of Remus as his brother is eaten.
we are wolves walking upright
with opposable thumbs
jammed through our belt loops,
whistling. it won’t be long before
no words are needed,
superseded by howls after
the empires have toppled.
be watchful of the partygoers
coupling off, pairing up,
cutting to spare bedrooms like
paring knives. these are our lives,
and many nights are like a
thousand lonely deaths,
cold sides of the bed, sick and sad—
a blight on the city is what they’ve said,
but we only tidied up the gutter given us.
the rainwater must drown us in our sinful trust of God. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2008|04:29 pm] |
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I wish I had something to say. If you want to know me, call my cell phone and we can have a real conversation. (906)869-6501 |
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| I feel like Charlie Gordon |
[Feb. 9th, 2008|06:29 pm] |
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please if you get a chanse put some flowrs on Algernons grave in the bak yard... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2008|03:04 pm] |
I've been thinking about what I've always said about my life--that I don't expect to live past 30. It seems like the longer I'm alive and the closer I get, the more it seems true. It's like I feel the pull of the moon, I feel the pull of something. And I don't believe in destiny. I believe that we each have full control over our lives. I think it's just the way I'm steering myself. I live hard, but I have no complaints about that.
These past few months I've taken a step back and looked at life and art in ways that I never have before. I don't know if it's an effect of growing up, or what, but I think I'm beginning to learn to connect the things I want to say with how I want to say them. To some extent this has been a gift, but one I feel has been developed recently into a narrowed, burning focus. When I get an idea (and they're coming more frequently), I see behind to a purpose, the core of the truth I want to present. I understand it sounds pretty vague, but it's an abstraction to myself.
The question now becomes whether I'll have time to say everything that needs to be said before... |
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| omens |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|02:39 pm] |
At the start of 2007 I carried on my back for several blocks in freezing rain the drunk girl in flip flops who was too intoxicated to notice the ball drop and who later in the year would absolutely crush my heart.
At the start of 2008 my friend, who I've known since we were both six years old, tried to choke me to death.
Can't wait to see what the new year brings. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2007|03:47 pm] |
Currently at work in the coffee shop. Apparently the rule against having laptops at work has been disregarded. When this shift is over, I've got to make a run to Grand Rapids and back and then pack everything in my dorm room into my car. Shitty.
I'm going to miss everyone down here so much. My friends on the floor, and our friends outside of the dorms, are seriously incredible. Luckily I'll be back down for another month and a half next semester as a vagrant poet barista before leaving for 4 months in Australia.
Last week was one of my worst at college. I had a 20-minute group presentation, a 7-page paper and my final article for Journalism 200, which was a public affairs piece. I ended up at the police station at 8 a.m. the day the article was due to cover the police beat as a fall back fall back story, following a sped up sleepless night where, instead of doing something constructive, I roamed the halls, talking incessantly to anyone who would listen.
I ended up getting everything done, though, and even got a 3.5 on the JRN article, with "a nod to my persistence." What did my professor mean by persistence? She was probably referring to my visit to the district courthouse and phone call to the district prosecuting attorney in attempt to get more information about the suspect from the incident I was covering, or even when he was going to be arraigned. And a 3.5 isn't bad at all considering the story was at least 100 words shy of what she was looking for and written in last-minute desperation.
Anyway, as of Wednesday that week, I had 6 hours of sleep between two streaks of being awake for 37+ hours. My brain wouldn't function right; I've never felt more dumb in my life.
This winter break I plan to:
-make some cash money
-download a lot of music
-write some poetry
-write some music
-snowboard at least once
-spend some time in the woods
-hang out with various people
What about you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|04:26 am] |
There's nothing really new happening with me. There are only a few people that read this anyway, and less that care, so I guess I don't feel too bad neglecting the journal.
This last week was pretty tough, and I'm still struggling to come to grips with several personal issues which I don't want to go into but thought I'd mention to entice you.
Wednesday night I liveblogged on the Detroit News website, covering the CNN/YouTube Republican debate. It went alright, but I'm so disgusted with the entire political process at this point that I hardly feel compelled to do something like it again. Plus some Paul Henry from Lansing left what I'm sure he thought was a clever comment about me "smoking ganja"? The blog that he responded to didn't even mention marijuana. I did make a brief comment about the War on Drugs being an abysmal failure, with regards to Ron Paul's intention to cease spending billions of dollars in a frivolous attempt to stop people from doing something that they're NEVER going to stop. And I'd say that anyone with any kind of education on the subject would agree that it's been an utter and resounding malfunction of government since its evolution from being Richard Nixon's retarded brainchild.
But apparently my opinions are so liberal that they must have been formed when I was smoked out of my gourd. Haha right. Luckily, all the pot I do smoke hasn't obscured my realization that Paul Henry of Lansing is a fucking idiot making feeble comments because he doesn't have anything real to say about my political arguments--which, by the way, are based soundly on historical fact and social science.
That was a little pent up.
Other than that, this week is going to be a bitch. I have so much to do, and I know I will procrastinate doing it for as long as possible. Less than two weeks from now I will be moved out of this room and back in the U.P. Two and half months from now I will be leaving for Australia.
Rob and I signed a lease for next year in Cedar Village that pretty much rapes us. It's ridiculously expensive for a two bedroom, but we're hoping to find a third and maybe a fourth so that it doesn't so completely crush our balls.
I can't fall asleep but I'm out of things to say, so I'm done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2007|01:55 pm] |
Currently headed south on 127 aboard the Michigan Flyer on its way to Detroit Metro. The Michigan Flyer is a bus that goes from East Lansing, Jackson and Ann Arbor to Detroit Metro several times a day...From East Lansing it costs 25 bucks each way, and they have free wi-fi and even complimentary water! Haha nah, truth is it's much easier and cheaper to take the bus than to pay for gas to put unnecessary miles on my car, which I would then have to pay upwards of $30 to park. Fuck that nonsense.
But I'm going to see Stadler! I'm fucking pumped. Stadler said something about climbing a mountain and finding a party. It also goes without asking that hazardous amounts of alcohol are going to be consumed, especially now that he's legal to buy.
This week went by ridiculously fast. Wednesday I headed up to Big Rapids for their Autumn Alive concert and Dan's birthday. Let me break down Autumn Alive for you: I missed Cobra Starship, which I was disappointed about because they're so damn dancey (that's right, i just made "dancey" a word); Sherwood was good--the last song they played, I thought their singer was going to die he held a note so long; The Rocket Summer was as good as possible given the lead man was a 5'6" androgynous scenester bouncing around the stage giving and getting guitars from roadies and hopping to and from a keyboard. Meaning, if you like his voice on CD, you would have enjoyed it, but it seems like one of those whiny, effeminate tenors (I should know) that can be either great or grating; Armor for Sleep was next and they straight up blew. I don't like their songs to begin with, but the dude was flat; and The Academy Is... fucking tore shit up. And this is coming from a guy who kind of grew out of TAI. Beckett nailed every damn note and was a fantastic front man, jumping on the drum platform, throwing the mic stand around--very Plant-like.
The rest of the night we went back to UPS--the Red Beeron was in attendance, there was a birthday blunt at 3 a.m., but overall it was pretty chill. I wanted to leave at around 7 so I could make it to my first class, but I didn't get up until 9. Oops. I then spent Thursday completely exhausted, but I'm glad I got a chance to see Dan and catch up on a lot of things.
Now I'm going to be in Phoenix until Sunday, then I have 3 days of class before I head to the U.P. for Thanksgiving. That's like 4,000 miles in the span of a week, guys, fuck. Somebody cue up "Like A Rolling Stone". |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2007|03:34 pm] |
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Really infatuated with Ned Kelly right now. He's basically Australia's Robin Hood--an outlaw (they called them bushrangers) who spoke out against what at the time was a farcical justice system and a corrupt police force. Read "The Jerilderie Letter." And of course, after killing a few policemen and robbing a few banks, he was caught, convicted and martyred. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2007|10:42 am] |
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I wanted to wait until it was official. So I'm going to be studying abroad at Queensland University at Brisbane in Australia next semester. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2007|10:37 pm] |
Last Friday my friend Dan and I ate a few brownies and went to see Andy Hull of Manchester Orchestra and Kevin Devine for an acoustic set at the International Center. The atmosphere was real chill--not many people were there, and Kevin Devine was walking freely to and from his merch table at the back of the room. We got there for the last song of some guy I didn't know, sat through Owen(?)'s set, and then watched Andy Hull perform a few new Manchester songs before we left because I felt bad that Dan didn't know any of the musicians there.
Saturday Erik, Dan, Rob and I got on our bikes all messed up and rode on an adventure to the Vlach-Bower co-op for a party with free beer and good music. I might live there starting this summer, but I've still got to tour the house and a couple others before I somehow come up with $385 to sign the contract.
I also finished the article on graffiti on MSU's campus for my Journalism class. It could be getting picked up and published by someone, though I'm not yet sure who. I'll post a link if/when it's available for reading.
Rob and I were walking back from Campbell's smoke shop on M.A.C. in the middle of the day and rain when I looked down in the middle of the crosswalk to see what turned out to be around an eighth of damn good mids just sitting there. Needless to say I promptly shoved the wet Ziploc into my sweatshirt pocket. "How fortuitous," said Rob.
This Friday I'm one of I don't know how many poets opening for def poet Bridget Gray as part of the second annual Def Poetry Jam on campus.
The November issue of The Big Green is going to have in its Letters section a scathing rant on Columbus Day and the celebration of genocide written by yours truly.
Barring some kind of cluster fuck, I'm headed to Maryland and D.C. for 3 days at the beginning of November, and Phoenix for a weekend in the middle of the month to see Stadler. Next semester I could be around the world. Wait and see. |
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